Me and my husband has been together for five years and married for 7 months.
I am working full-time for paid job in an office and is still working unpaid at home.
I won’t say that our marriage is beautifully-lived and we don’t argue, because we do. A LOT.
I don’t need to narrate what happened the whole morning but here’s the highlight, or should I say “low-light”…
I was preparing for work. We just had our lunch. He takes a nap beside our second baby. While I am about to finish, he woke up and asked me to clean the baby because he has poop. So I did. Even though I am already dressed for work. Afterwards, I continue preparing all my stuffs for work, packed lunch, kikay kits, wallet and my personal notebook. Then I checked my phone and browse for a while.
And then, he cracked a joke that has not sounded a joke on me, rather I felt insulted.
You know what I did?
I wasn’t able to contain my irritation, I kicked the chair and looked at him angrily.
He was shocked.
and the fighting begins…
Rudeness, harsh words, tears and mixed up emotions.
I know I was wrong but I chose to stay mad at him rather than saying “Sorry”.
Before I leave, I honestly told him that I need not a joke nor an insult. I need and I want compliments FROM HIM.
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. (James 4:1-2a NIV)
Very true. I got mad, nagged and overreacted because I cannot get what I want.
Only now that I realized, he’s trying to make me smile and feel special. He is trying to connect but I refuse. Because I was blinded. Because I expected.
Our marriage is currently under maintenance. We are just learning the curves but I am very impatient and aggressive and demanding.
I always tell myself that I want us to be okay, be a normal couple that love, support and inspire each other. But I am only asking HIM to do his part. The end. I am not pushing myself to do MY part.
I realized, I didn’t get married to be praised or make vows to making life perfect. I married a person to build a life with, together, for better or worse.
5 Ways we can do if we tend to OVERREACT.
1. Lighten the mood before talking/reacting.
2. Do not overthink.
3. Stay away from arguments. Leave if necessary.
4. Pray, pray, PRAY.
5. Say we’re SORRY and reconcile.