Tonight we had just another system issue in the office, so we have to go to lunch 15 minutes earlier than the usual schedule. I wasn’t really feeling hungry so I’ve planned to just stay at the cafeteria and update my blog using our company’s free WiFi (hehe).
But that didn’t happen. I remembered my firstborn asking for pasalubong and he specifically asked for a donut (am I a bad mom for not giving it to him the first time he asked? It has been a week and it’s still the same request. Sorry baby! Mom & Dad’s really on a tight budget 😦 have you felt so guilty, too for not giving your kids the simple things they’re asking?). Anyway, to stop the drama, I decided to buy him his donuts na.
Thankfully, there’s a Pan de Manila near our office. Yey! 🙂
Going back, this turned out to be an unplanned and unintentional me time tonight. Since I don’t have baon, I look for a light snack to cover me ’til the end of my shift.
I remembered, a friend of mine suggested me to try eating at myTea and since it’s just beside Pan de Manila, I headed there and enjoyed the place literally-alone.
And, cha-da! This is what I call “light- snack-to-cover-me-’til-the-end-of-my-shift”! Hahahaha 🙂
Congee Fried Tofu P85
Butterscotch milk tea (M) 90
May egg pa pala! Busog na busog ako!!
Since I am really alone and the place is simple and peaceful, I thought I should feel this moment and give myself a “hey, you are doing okay” commendation.
Once and a while I should remind myself that I’m doing pretty well and whatever we’re facing will soon end and we can freely smile and appreciate life together with its ups and downs.
Everytime I’m having my me time, I always do 3 things.
1. I Evaluate myself.
Where am I now? What have I achieved so far? Was I able to cross out a thing in my bucket list?
Motherhood changed a lot in me. I learned to live selflessly. I always think of “them” first. I became more grateful, I see that lil light whenever it’s dark. I have trusted God more. I have learned to be more courageous and to live life beautifully and intentionally.
Life’s not always a sunshine, though. As motherhood brings out the best in me, it also tested my character as a mom, wife and as a woman. It teaches me to be guilty, jealous and impatient. It gives me a heart ache and tears came overflowing. Because motherhood is never easy. But, I call it the sweetest dream I have learned to live on.
I know I am just starting in this real life. But that 2 years of taking care of my kids give me so much lessons and I am learning its curves continuosly. Thanks to all people who have been backing me up! I don’t know how to survive without you all. You know who you are, no need to enumerate.
(Oh my, I am getting emotional. I am alone. I need not to cry. Hahahaha. Crazy me!)
2. I get connected with my Savior.
Whenever I’m alone, I speak to Him. I am asking for guidance and wisdom. I am thanking Him for loving me unconditionally. I am lifting all those problems, worries and pains up to Him. I am making ‘sumbong’ and I let all my weakness visible to Him. I’ll read His word to remind me of who I am, what’s my purpose and to remind me that He loves me and He will never leave my side.
I listen to gospel songs and I let His love refill (the tired) me.
Times like this refreshes my soul and gives me a deeper hope.
3. I write.
I am giving myself a space to have those thoughts flowing, to take note of all good things and to learn from my mistakes. If you’ll just see how many notebooks I have! 🙂
That is how I make myself know myself better. That is how I see if I have grown and changed (even a lil). Those notebooks will always remind me that I was once a failure, that I was once lost but now I am found and I am defining what my own success means.
This is my classical CR selfie after the “naka-on pala flash” elevator shot! Haha
* * *
In my evaluation, I tried to think if I have changed even a little, and yes, I can say I do.
I am tougher now. In a way that I no longer let other people define who I am. I have learned not to please anyone. I learned to let go and let God (and I’ve learnedy lesson in a HARD way).
I have accepted that life will never be easy. No one says it will be. But it’s nice to know that we’re not alone, and that we are loved unconditionally.
That’s what matters most, right?
So smile, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. 🙂
How ’bout you, what do you do during your “me-time(s)”?