This is to you who thinks I am not capable

(Grammar disclaimer: I used “not capable” instead of incapable by purpose)
First, I’d like to thank you for your honesty and transparency. I know it’s obvious that I am struggling. Maybe my clothes, shoes and the food I eat show that I am having a hard time. Or maybe you’re hearing me say we have less and I can’t come to eat outs and team buildings because my money’s just enough for our daily expenses.
You’re right, my dear friend. Right now I am not capable. I can’t live the way you do. I can’t spend more on my daily coffee sips or spend extra for sodas and sandwiches from those expensive convenience stores. I can’t buy myself a pair of Nike or Adidas shoes and yes, I’ve got a single pair of shoes only.

I am not capable to live your style.

You know what I am only capable of?

I am capable of making my life better. Of accepting that it won’t be easy as I always remind myself. I have learned to love what I have and make the most of what’s available.

I am capable of living a simple, happy life. I am capable of creating and exploring and accepting that we can’t have it all.

I may not wear fancy clothes and branded shoes, but I love our life! It’s not perfect, but it brings out the best in me.

You’ve heard me telling you about the sunsets in my life. I am very vocal with whatever is happening. I am sharing my stories and I am very open about my life. Because there’s nothing to hide. There’s nothing to fear. But there’s a lot of things that cause pain – and one of those is the heartache of being judged.

But, I am telling myself that life is sweeter than dwelling on these negative emotions.

I am happy with what we have, what I have achieved and what we can be someday.

And one more thing. This one’s specially for you – I am capable of forgiving you, for forgetting about how you’ve indirectly hurted me because I want to keep our friendship.

I am asking God to take away these negative emotions so I could move forward with a light heart.

To you who thinks I am not capable to have a life similar to you, you’re right.

 

 Because I am only capable of living our own unique life in our very own, beautiful ways.

 

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Posted in: mom

3 thoughts on “This is to you who thinks I am not capable

  1. nocturnalmomtalks says:

    It’s hard no when you share your weakness to someone, your friend to be exact and then they use it against you. Obviously we trust them and it’s common sense that they should not share it to anyone nor talk about it behind your back. I guess they are not a true friend then.

    Liked by 1 person

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